according to henry the time traveller, relationships operate by a twisted logic. when you think someone's too patient with odd behaviour, you can't help but want to hurt them.
no, no. i'm not trying to justify my wickedness. i'm trying to explain why i feel so conflicted towards him. perhaps i'm trying to explain it to myself.
he is way too nice. that backfires in two respects: first, i doubt what his motive is; second, i pay selective attention to his flaws. i become overly critical of him, because he's trying to act perfect. oh well. i'm blaming the victim here...let's not forget i'm the evil one. alright. i become overly critical, because i judge him by the standard of perfection. let me give an example, the very reason i am blogging at 3am...
he blogged about our one month anniversary. he listed out everything substantial that he's done for me in this time. finally he added, "i want you to know there's more to come."
what is this? a raincheck?
this is not the first time he told me what he has done for me. not even the second, third, or fourth. every once in a while he brings up his precious list of achievements, and demands credit very politely, very subtly, but nonetheless, he wants credit. i'm sorry i'm a freak who doesn't like to appreciate the people who can appreciate themselves well enough. yes, i remember what you did. no, i'm not impressed - not anymore. it's a complete turn-off.
stop reminding me how good you are. it only serves to confirm my suspicion that all you ever wanted was to secure me with your efforts. why ask for credit if you're in love with me?
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